Disclaimer: Please prepare something that can calm you down and make sure you're sitting. Any injury cause by excessive laughter will be your fault, and not mine. (:
Alright, I promised you the commercial break thing right? ;D
First, warm up abit. Not much funny, but definitely interesting. So try it yeah.

Can you read the following 16 sentences correctly the first time? (:
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The underlined words are the same-spelling-different-pronounciation words.
Hah, did that trip you up? (:
And paradoxes....

Why is there no egg in eggplant, and no ham in hamburger?
Or no apple and no pine in pineapple?
Why can writers write, but fingers can't fing and hammers can't ham?

One goose, two geese. So, one moose, two meese?
If teachers taught, shouldn't preachers praught?
Vegetarians eat vegetables, so what do humanitarians eat?
Noses that run, and feet that smell? (Runny nose, smelly feet)

A house burns up when it is burning down.
To fill in a form, you have to fill it out.
The alarms goes off when it goes on.

Lol, funny lah, especially the vegetarians thing. (:
Well, read this:

A man and a woman, who were mental hospital patients, were walking along the swimming pool one day. The man slipped and fell into the swimming pool, and the woman promptly dived in and saved him. 
Later on, the managing director of the mental hospital found out what had happened and had the woman discharged. He told her, "I have good news and bad news for you. For being able to save someone from drowning, I deem you mentally stable. Therefore, you are discharged. The bad news is, the man you saved hanged himself using his robe belt in his bathroom. He is now dead."
"No," the woman replied. "He didn't hang himself there, I hanged him up to dry."

LOL!
I hanged him up there to dry.
:D
Ashley already told me this joke before. Lol.
Well, last, the tomato story (my edited version).

A man had applied for a job as office boy in Microsoft. The manager was impressed with his abilities and decided to hire him. "Give me your email address, and I will email you the application form as well as the date you are due to start work," the manager said.
"But I do not have an email address," the man replied.
"You are non-existent then, and non-existent people cannot be given a job." the manager told the man.
The man was disappointed and left. He had only $10 with him, so he went to the supermarket to buy a crate of tomatoes. He went door-to-door, selling the tomatoes, and was able to earn twice the amount he used to buy the crate of tomatoes. He went back to the supermarket and repeated this twice. After that, he had $60. 
Everyday, he would wake up early and return home late, selling tomatoes. His money doubled and tripled, and soon he had enough money for a cart. Later on, a truck, and not long after, he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
Five years after his failed job application at Microsoft, he decided to get life insurance for his family. He went to an insurance broker, who talked him through the policy. Finally, the broker asked for his email address.
"But I do not have an email address," the man replied.
The broker was surprised, and said, "Without an email address, you've built an empire for yourself. Imagine what you would have been if you had an email address!"
The man thought for a while and finally said, "I'd be an office boy at Microsoft."

Szeling:D